Being Obsessed vs. Living In Default | #REalAdvice 22 with Evan Stewart


Do you love your life?

At the end of the day, when you’re exhausted from all that you’ve done, do you still feel fired up and passionate? Or are you worn down and exhausted, feeling trapped in a rat race?

Do you dream of finding more? Something that you are truly obsessed with, and passionate about?

I am obsessed with my life, and with the work that I do as part of The Hashtag Agent. I may seem to be constantly on the move, doing everything, but it excites me, drives me, and fires me up. At the core of my being is a drive to serve, and I have been able to turn that passion into my everyday reality. 

I couldn’t be happier with the life that I am living, and am constantly working on ways that I can serve even more.

If you aren’t obsessed with the life you’ve created, then you’re not alone. But how can you create that life that you want?

Evan Stewart is here to help: he’s a master at helping people create a life that they are obsessed with, and he’s here on the podcast to share steps that you can take today to help create a life that you are obsessed with.

You’ll be inspired to look beyond today, or even your real estate career, and evaluate what it will take to create a life that you’re obsessed with.

Guest Introduction:

This episode’s guest on the #REalAdvice podcast is Evan Stewart, founder and creator of the Obsessed Podcast. Evan believes that everybody has the ability to be better than they are, but few have the identifiers to achieve that. Evan specialises in helping people find their passion; their true obsession in life; aligning their passion with their giftedness. 

Highlights of this episode: 

  • Jonathan introduces Evan Stewart and his business.

  • Evan and Jonathan talk about what it feels like to live a life in alignment with your giftedness.

  • What is obsession? And what are you obsessed with in your life, positive and negative?

  • “There is nothing wrong with building a business you can exit. I started … with the intention of leveraging into something different.” ~ Evan Stewart

  • “Life should push you into something greater and your success in one area should push you towards success in another area.” ~ Evan Stewart

  • If you’re not happy with your life and where it’s going, it’s time to explore options. Don’t just quit your job yet - look at what you need to do to get what you actually want.

  • When looking for your giftedness, what moments in your past stand out, where you felt like you were good at something? When you felt excited and passionate about what you were doing? How can you turn that into something that you get paid for?

  • Many business owners feel guilt and friction about wanting to move into a life that they love, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

  • Figure out where you want to be, and map out how you can get there. Don’t just quit what you’re doing today, make a plan for how you want to get where you want to be.

  • “If you want something, map it out.” ~ Evan Stewart

  • Remember, there will always be work that you dislike doing, but keep your eye on the reward.

  • Don’t be afraid to take a loss sometimes if it leads you into a win.

  • Events lead to referrals: make sure that if events are what you’re doing, go all-in for excellence. Set expectations for the events to be what you want for year 5, year 10 in your business.

  • One last piece of advice: commit first, and figure out later. You can be scared, but still moving forward. Figure it out in motion instead of thinking and preparing, because there is someone else who might not be as talented as you in motion, and they’re going to be the one who gets the credit and recognition.

Special shout out to Evan Stewart for being this episode’s guest for #REalAdvice! You can connect with him here:

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Audio Version Below

Full Transcript

00:01 We are here with Evan Stewart in Dallas, Texas. And before we start, we have to say that, uh, we definitely have the best venue for any podcasts that we've done. So now we're going to have to, uh, be able to beat this cause we have three, four ping pong tables, two pool tables. We have an empty bar, empty restaurant, we have bowling lanes. Um, man, it might just have to turn this into a stadium. This is great. It's about to say, yeah, I wonder what it would cost. It can come back to this space again. That's hilarious. So Evan, tell us who you are, but more importantly, what I want to know is what do you believe in? Absolutely. That's a good question. Uh, well, my name is Evan Stewart and I believe that everybody has an ability to be better than they are, but few people actually have identifiers in their life to help them achieve it.

00:48 So I am the person that helps people identify and live a life in alignment with their giftedness instead of defaulting to their weaknesses. I believe most people are living in default just through comfort or complacency or mediocrity or a lack of inability to challenge oneself. And I'm not to use the word redundantly, but I'm obsessed with helping other people find and live in their obsessions. Sweet. And before we keep going, I'm going to ask you to move that phone off the table without a doubt. And then what I really want to know is tell us a little bit more about your background, how you found your obsession. And for anybody that's listening that doesn't know what they're doing or they think that they're doing what they're supposed to be, how can they identify what they're obsessed about in a good way? And I, and I, and I want you to get into that.

01:39 Secondly, talk to us about the two different types of obsession. That's good. That's good. Well the, the, if somebody is struggling, identifying where, if they are living a life as I call it, that's in alignment. If they're not, the first question that I always have is at the end of the day, are you full of like you might be physically exhausted, but are you full of energy or are you drained of energy? Yesterday, for example, I got home physically, I was really exhausted. I mean we just had a hard push with the obsessed conference and you know, that comes to a tee and then, and then you just have this moment of breath. But mentally, I mean, I was meeting with the team, I was talking with people like I was on fire. We're here today. I mean we're pushing, pushing, pushing because that alone gives me so much internal motivation, desire to do more, be more, have that energy.

02:28 So that's the first big kind of red flag of you become a just walking, talking, exhaustion, conversation where everything is just, oh my gosh, it's overwhelming. As anxious and as stress, if you're living a life that constantly puts you back into that space, chances are you're not living in true alignment with your giftedness or your obsession. There's friction there that people don't always identify. But most of us live in. What I was, what you referenced when I talked about the two different types of obsession is we have a healthy obsession and we have unhealthy obsession. And unhealthy obsession specifically stems from these feelings that we have that are pretty dark actually. There's, you know, abandonment and there's, there's feelings of isolation, there's feelings of nonacceptance, there's guilt and there's shame and a lot of people, they'll, they'll change their life because of a guilt or shame or feeling of inadequacy or abandonment.

03:21 But in reality, that change doesn't lead to anything other than really a lack of fulfillment and regret. And so what I believe is that those types of obsessions are highlighted. In fact, when people talk about obsession, usually we think of like literal drug addictions and alcohol addictions and sexual addictions and all of these dark things that no one wants in their life. But that's where the second part comes in, which, which is healthy obsession and obsession. First as an emotion. It's second a mindset and it's third a discipline. Emotion is the moment of revelation. It's that not that the sky opening up and God's San Jonathan like your life is about to change. No, it's the, the revelation is just a moment that you have where your perspective changes so drastically. You can never look at one thing the same again and then the second is the mindset.

04:07 Okay, now I have this revelation. I'm in the mindset. I need that stage of preparation of how do I prepare my mind, my body, and my spirit in order to fully live in alignment with this, with this obsession that was given to me in this moment of revelation. And then the third is, is the discipline, which is a stage of cultivation, which is, okay, now I have the revelation. I'm moving towards something. I'm preparing my mind, my body, and my spirit. I'm working. I'm getting a little more consistent building habits, you know, rituals around this becoming a disciple to that obsession. Now, that third stage of of discipline, how do I continue that, that focus, continue that work to make sure that all this work I put into it will eventually produce a harvest. And that cycle, it's a three Arrow cycle. Worked consistently, infrequently produces what I call obsession overflow, which is the stage of saturation. And that's the abundance that a lot of people are chasing. Where you say, okay, my my family's legacy has an ability to be different in the future because of my ability to be a disciple to my obsession. Now

05:04 what I found is the thing that I'm obsessed about is helping other people. And the reason that I know that is because back in, Oh man, it's been eight years now. I won the presidential service award from President Obama. That's right. Okay. And after that, I was still in the army and I was going into the real estate business and I started getting caught up in accolades and success. And what I found was I had a business that I loved but not a life that I loved. Yes. And I had to really back off to what I tell people now is I help you create a business and life that you love. And that's what I'm obsessed about. Because there's too many people that are with an unhealthy obsession chasing leads. Yes. Right? That's like you're obsessed about leads, right? You're obsessed about marketing, you're obsessed about, no, you're, you're obsessed. Something else and

05:58 these things are trying to get you there, but you're looking at it from the wrong way. So how do we create a business and life that you love so then that way you can work towards whatever you're passionate about. You can do something that you actually love. Because you know, for me, sitting across the table in the real estate space, I would tell people, if I'm a realtor in 30 years I've failed. I am not going to be a realtor in 30 years. I'm glad you mentioned, if I tell you that I'm lying to you for a lot of different reasons, but that's not what I'm obsessed about. I'm obsessed about helping you. I'm obsessed about creating this life that you love. Real estate is allowing me to do that. However, there are other things that I'm going to be doing in my life. So first off, if you're looking for a realtor that has 40 years of experience, I'm not your guy, but in my short amount of time, this is what we're going to focus on and this is what we're going to achieve through the the, through the sell of your house, there's so many more things that we can tap into.

06:51 There's a lot of agents listening right now that want to create this business that they love, but in order to create a business and life that they love, what would be a piece of advice you would give to them? Gosh, you touched on so many pounds, you're going to have to realize that I do that all the time. You can cut me off and you can do whatever you want, but I am obsessed about tons of things. So I talk a lot. I don't know. I love it. And, and the reason why I love the fact that you touch on that, and before I answer that question, I want to answer one other, which is you. You mentioned, I'm not the person that's going to be offering 40 years of experience and in the real estate world, knowing a lot of your audience are people who are working in that field.

07:30 There's nothing wrong with that, but there is also nothing wrong with building a business. You can exit. I am seven ish years of experience in my real estate business. I started that business with the intention of leveraging that into something different. I didn't start that business with the intention of being a realtor. See, self-employment means you're an employee of yourself, not that you want a business because if you can't walk away from Your Business and it runs behind you and it doesn't actually produce a lack of income because you're away from it, then you don't actually own the business yet. You, Gary Keller, one of my favorite quotes by him this year was he said, you start losing so slowly that it feels like you're winning. And I think that's profound because in real estate what happens is, is that we get caught in the minutia of our daily work and we get caught in the bs of, Oh, I own a real estate business.

08:16 No, you broke her sales. You are a salesperson. It's just that under the business you're working in happens to be your name on the front. And I'm not saying that to discourage, I'm saying that to focus on the reality, which is that a lot of people will say, oh well, you know, why would you ever want to exit? Why would you want to do this? Your life should consistently be pushing you towards something greater, and your success in one area should be propelling your success in another area internally, whether it's relationships, whether it's family, whether it's people in your life that you want to give back to or externally, whether you're going to take your career in one area and push it into success and another push it into success in another. So if that's a point of friction, if you're listening to this and you're thinking yourself, maybe you're nervous to take that step.

09:01 I encourage you to at least explore it. And for me, I mean it is scary. You know, when I got into real estate and I thought, okay, I wanted to build up my business, I wanted to have a big, you know, book of business and all of that. And over seven years we built it up to where, you know, I'll run a multi eight figure book of business and we work with some great people and some great product and okay, now we're here. And so the conversations are people saying, well why would you want to leave that? Well, because that is propelling obsessed academy propelling obsessed conference, allowing me to do as the same as you. What I love impacting, improving the lives of other people in a more profound way. So why wouldn't I use success in one area to push into another. Now going back to the question that you had actually asked, which is how might you be able to start identifying, correct.

09:44 How do you create that, that business and life that you love? Yeah. What's that first piece of advice? Which it could be, hey, you need identify exactly what that is. Yeah. Um, what, what's your piece of advice for somebody that has a great business? Not necessarily they have a bad life, but how do they get both in alignment like you said, so then that way they truly understand what they're are obsessed about. You know, I think that people that are living lives that aren't actually giving them what they're looking for. Like you said, well you're not maybe obsessed about this one thing. This thing is kind of the mask for something deeper that you can't quite get to yet. When people talk about work life balance is usually where people go and they start to say to find a life that you can, you know, start to bring you that inspiration, motivation, excitement.

10:29 But, but balance doesn't exist anywhere. Usually what we're saying is I need to stop sacrificing the things I care for, for the things that I don't, but the things that I don't, I believe are putting me back into the right environment at the things that I care for. So you feel guilt when you're working because you're doing something you don't want to do to be able to provide for those that you should be providing for in a way that drains you so much that when you're back to be with them, that you're not having any level of giving your best self back to those that back to those people. And then when you have the opposite, which is now you're not doing that, you're not working as a professional anymore because you supposed to be spending time with these people, but you're so drained and so guilty because you're supposed to be.

11:08 And so we're in this tension that I think a lot of business owners live in, but very few actually are willing to put that on the table and say that this exists. Have you felt that in your life even? It's definitely, and, and, and I, and I have to, and so there's a term that I call threads of consistency, which is that I believe understanding life will be imbalanced. It might as well be imbalanced in a way that can continue to give you energy. Like I mentioned at the beginning of this podcast. So that way you're fueled and you're the best version of yourself when you're with the people you want to be with. And a thread of consistency is whether intentionally or unintentionally, all throughout your life. I believe at points you have been touching, touching, touching your giftedness. And if your giftedness is an ability to help other people find identified, there's, for example, you can think back.

11:54 I remember all the way back to when I was a kid, literally in kindergarten, I, I was helping people, um, you know, with people that were getting bullied, helping them find friends and find placement. And oh well you're good at this. And I had noticed someone was good at it and I said, well, maybe you should draw more than you. And just at the time it was just, you know, offering advice and being a good friend. But in reality, that was me and my giftedness kind of crossing for a moment. And so when I think back into that and when you're thinking back into your life, if you're listening to this, think are what are the moments that keep coming up again and again, the concepts that have been driving your actions intentionally or unintentionally that leave a stickiness in your mind and imprint on these moments in your life and when you were young to a little bit older to adolescence, to teenager, to adult.

12:35 And you can start identifying these concepts. Okay. Impacting and improving the lives of other people, helping other people, being a good friend, being supportive, driving community. And that can start, give you action steps that can start giving you the action steps on what you should be doing in my opinion. So you look at that, you say, okay, I've got these concepts in my life now. What are some things I can do as a professional, which allow me every single day to start touching those concepts intentionally. And then when you move with intention, you start to identify and you work a little bit and you get a little more refined. And then before you know it over the course of three years, now 90% of your life is with intentionality, trying to align with those things that really you feel you should be doing. So you start to eliminate the guilt, eliminate the friction, and just by default of working in that arena, now you're giving a better version of yourself to the people that deserve you and you're working more efficiently and you have more energy and more fuel and so your life starts to feed itself instead of eat itself.

13:27 Does that make sense?

13:28 Definitely. What I like to tell people is if you ask somebody what you do, if you are in an elevator and you're talking about you know something, you'll really know somebody as passionate about what they do. When I use the term all the time when they start lighting up like a Christmas drink. Yeah. Right? So when I ask you a question on how can you help others find their stuff, you're going and I'm sitting here and I'm like, Yup, this is it. This, the, you know, I was sitting at the bar last night with a few guys and we're talking about them being in the insurance industry, but I can tell that they do not like being in the insurance industry. They're here portraying that they want to be this best in insurance person. But I can tell this is not what they like.

14:14 Then I would say, who are you? What? What are you protecting first of all and who are you really doing this for? Because sometimes what happens, I love that example because a lot of listeners might feel that on the inside, whatever they're doing, insurance, real estate or not. And the interesting about it is that when you, when you look at people like that, we as people who tried to inspire impact and improve those those lives, we can look at them and we can say, well then then why? Like it just doesn't make sense. But in the, the reality is sometimes you're so far down that rabbit hole that like let's say you what you're doing, but you're making half a million dollars a year. Your kids are used to eating a certain way. Your wife is used to driving a certain type of car. And it's really, really scary to remove that environment cause you know what else can duplicate that income while it's gonna take a lot of hard work. And so now you start to get into this reality where you justify through sacrifice of, well, I need to provide this for my family, so therefore I'm going to sacrifice my life in this way in order to give them what I think they most need. When in reality, what the people around you most need is the best version of yourself. And you're depleting that by working in a way that drains who you are. You know?

15:29 Definitely. So for somebody that is going through that to identify, you know, if they're doing something that they don't love, if they're doing something that doesn't make them light up like a Christmas tree, what would be the first step that that person should do to start creating a business in life that they love?

15:48 Oh man, this is so good. So I say this with a caveat, so please don't pause right after the statement or you're going to completely screw up the interpretation of this. Take the lead to something you want to be doing, but that is not an instantaneous jump. Don't run into your office in leather underwear waving a confederate flag saying I'm out of here. I mean like people say burn your bridges. But, and I talked about this on my podcast a few weeks ago, just kind of a rant about this whole concept of taking the leap, which is take the leap, the leap, the emotion moment of revelation decision to start moving. But the movement can take years

16:28 and I that we want to pause on because there's too many people out there that are telling you to quit your job, that are telling you to rip up your contracts that are telling you to do this. But they did not do that now. It took them so many years to get where they're at. Yes. For them to, yeah, go to the next person and say, I'm done because I'm doing this. That's fine. They're in a position to do that for anybody that is listening. We're not telling you stop being a real estate agent. We're not telling you stop being an insurance agent. We're not telling you to stop doing that. However, we are telling you to take the leap to start figuring out what do I need to do? How do I map this out? How do I make those possible? Because you're not going to make it possible by just quitting and you're not gonna make it possible by winging anything.

17:10 So in order to create this business and life that you love you, you have to map out what does that look like and then start backwards. Because just like all the ad platforms work now, Facebook, Instagram, linkedin, youtube, they all work the exact same way. Let's start at the end. What is your objective? You want leads? Do you want brand awareness? What do you want? Okay, that's what you want. Now let's work towards that. If you really want something, map it out and then work towards it. But keep going on a, I want you to keep going on this topic because I'm, I get very, you can say like almost heated about it. Can you tell? It's like a bark. That being said, I hate it. I hate when I hear people get on Instagram say, Hey, what's up? You know, if you're really, if you're doing something you hate, you just need to go tell the boss like screw you, I'm going to go do this.

17:56 Well they do not do that and they did not do that. They can do that now cause you know if you've got a hundred mil in the bank account, yeah of course you could do that and there will always be work that that is, there will always be work in your life that you disliked doing. Always be work that you disliked him. And I told somebody this morning, you might not like what you're doing right now, but that is going to fire you to do what you're going to do in a few years. So don't quit. Well it's the machine, is it the minority or the majority, right. It's the majority of your work. Things that you dislike or is it the minority? There are still things about obsessed academy that I don't like doing, but it's such a small point and the reward is so, so energizes me.

18:32 The people I work with, the team that I work around that it makes it all worth it. You see when you sit down and you can no longer justify your work, that is when you are living life in default. So when I say take the leap, we have this, this spread of years where you've got, if you're making half a million dollars in real estate right now, please don't, don't tear up your contracts, but instead of building to add additional substance and additional growth, you can build the exit. You see, when I made the decision years ago that I was going to exit the real estate industry moved solely into coaching, consulting, impacting, improving the lives of other people. I made that decision instantaneously. My work changed. I did not work less. I did not get senior writers necessarily. It just changed where instead of taking, taking, taking from me, I was now taking with two intentions.

19:16 Number one, to build relationships with great people, a quality. Cause I'll be damned if I hand off a book of business that pisses somebody else off. And number two, I was building a business now in a way that was scalable and sellable by somebody other than myself. Love it, that type of thing. Love it. And I want to talk about your event. So for those listening, I'm here in Dallas. Yesterday I was with uh, Evan at the obsessed conference and sorry, let me tell you, this guy knows how to run an event. Okay, this is was his first major event. Correct me if I'm wrong. Major event and the dude went all out, but all out on the right things, the video boards, the lighting, the sounds, the, the hype man, the everything. And you know, if you guys are thinking about putting on an event, you guys need to come talk to Evan because he's going to connect you with whoever he's gonna connect you with.

20:04 Or it's maybe it's all in his brain, but he's going to give you some answers because too many people are overshooting their first event because they think that the crowd needs these different things. However, what the crowd really needs is good speakers, but what they really need is a great experience. And that happens from the moment they wake up and have breakfast to the time that they leave the airport. And how do we make it so they get a good experience. They get the information, they get there, they have great people sitting to the left and to the right of them who they're going to talk to you more. They have things just that. I want you to go into it a little bit on how you made this possible and, uh, how long it took you. And for anybody

20:48 that's thinking about, you know, putting on an event, um, you know, maybe a piece of advice that you would give to them on something that you did wrong that I don't even know because the experience was great. Well, the first piece of advice right out of the gate, which is if you're willing to do anything like that, just commit first and do it. But I have years and years and years when I was younger I'd spent as an actor in theater, you know, through school and that type of thing. Never professionally. But there was a quote that came out of a mentor I had in that space when I was younger that I love, which is even if they've seen it before, you might've seen lion king a thousand times. They don't know how your version of it is supposed to go unless you tell them the audience doesn't know that it's supposed to go a certain way.

21:29 And then the theater space, you know a lamp falls over and is not supposed to. You got to roll with it cause you can't do anything else. But in the space of conferences and performances, I think so many people get caught in their own head of, oh my gosh, they know. No, you know, and you should know. You should know every little screw exactly where it's supposed to be. I mean really be detail oriented, but the audience doesn't know. That's the first thing. But [inaudible] talking about the event, I think about it like a, like it's going to sound kind of funny, but I think about it like you're a DJ at a club, right? So put yourself in that space for a minute. We'll get rid of all the grungy Enos and we'll just be in that space. Yeah, exactly. So now we've got a full club.

22:10 Um, but if you think about it, you're almost like deejaying at a club in a sense of where you want to listen to the people that are on the dance floor, see how they're moving, how they're reacting and tailor the experience to them. But then also the people that are out there are expecting, number one, that they aren't going to be told how to work, how to move, how to think, how to act, but they want to be guided. And so when you're doing that type of event, and my thought process was how do we create an experience that is unduplicated? What can someone get through a relationship with our conference that they cannot get anywhere else? You know, tomorrow I'm going to be speaking about referrals. Okay? So referrability is huge in my business, how I built my book of business, you know, growing your bottom line, 30 to 50% through referrals and relationships in everything we do.

22:56 So how do we create an experience that's so profound that the only, the only thing that someone has to say when they're talking about it is there's gotta be a certain point in conversation of, Oh my God, Jonathan, you just gotta be there next year. And, and, and how do we do that? Like you said, don't overshoot, it's, do what you do really, really, really well. And we're dreaming big. I'm going to sit and down there, yesterday we had, you know, 150 hundred people or so at this first event. So it was really intimate, really good crowd of people. Super energetic. But we're sitting down. I had an immediate debrief after, after the event and we're on the balcony and we're looking across and we were in a small town called Frisco, Texas at the Dallas Cowboy practice arena. So we were in a really nice event space.

23:36 But we're sitting on the balcony, I'm looking at the arena, we're kinda talking to pull up my phone and say, okay, that seats 12,000 like how do we get there? So you can have those big aspirations. But taking the steps back, well before we do 12,000 we need to do 1004 do 12,000 we need to do 5,000 so I, I like what you mentioned there Jonathan, about managing the growth and having proper experts. You can dream big, but that might be hit in three years instead of, you know, next year. Yeah. And I think that it's great for anybody that's planning in events said to know that some of the events that you're going to that are phenomenal, that's not their first event either. So don't, don't plan your first event based off of somebody that's been doing it for 20 years and they have all these things, well they have all these things because they've built it up and now you know them for that.

24:22 But your first event more than likely is not going to be that. And it's just like that in business too. You know, if you want to be an entrepreneur and you want to work for yourself and you want to do these different things, great. Set your expectations based off of your one year five, year 10. Don't set it up based off of somebody on social media saying you can make a $100 million next month. You know, maybe they can, but you are not for the most part. You know, I'm making a broad assumption. Sure. And I think, I think that they're true. Um, you know, you have to really listen to the message and where it's coming from and decipher, okay, where were they at this stage? Yes. You know, if the event does have 50,000 people and has all these different things. Okay. What was event one like, okay, and then, okay, we can execute on that and if you want to get there.

25:08 The other thing is you can't be afraid to spend money. I took a loss in this man. A big loss. Yeah, for sure. I took a big loss on this event. I did not make any money and I'm totally transparent about that. Why? Because we have real estate agents listening to this. Obviously, if you're in real estate, I don't care how many times he hit a postcard, how many times he did his social media ad or click funnel or text or call or anything. There is no better marketing than a sold sign in someone's yard. Hmm. If that neighbor is driving down the street and it's sold, sold, sold, Evan here, Evan here, Evan here. They're calling me regardless of how many times he put a postcard in the unlocks and vice versa. They're calling you if your signs are in the yard. If you're in the business of transforming lives, there's no better marketing than transformed lives, which means don't be afraid to spend the money and take the loss now because that was my intention of I'll take the loss and I'll go below zero now to have a room full of people that are now advocates for my brand that when I have big audacious statements like your life will change as a result of being in this environment and that happens will now when they're telling their people it is, we executed on every commitment we gave them exactly over deliver what they were looking for.

26:12 The experience was profound because we weren't afraid to spend money to make sure it was an unduplicatable experience and now that lost. Now the intention is it will be replicated in profit year and years and years and years in the future because we weren't focused on the pennies. Now we're focused on the bigger money later. Does that make sense? It definitely makes sense. It makes a lot of sense because you know some people will say, Jonathan, man, you have this great real estate business, right? You're ranked in the top percent of the entire country making good money,

26:44 drive a nice car, you live in a great city. Why would you change any of that? Yeah. And why would you accept less money? Why would you lose money? I said, cause I'm going after bigger things baby. I'm going after huge things that I know are possible. So I'm willing to accept less money. Um, and, and it's not, it's not that I'm losing money cause I don't see it that way. I see it as I'm investing in myself to do something a lot bigger in the future. That is gonna turn into a reward, not only for me but for other people. Why? Because I know I can do something to help people create a business and life that they love. If I can't do that, then I can't do that. That's not me. I might be obsessed about it, but if it ain't working, it ain't working. Well you might as well try because you can always go back and if you're listening, I mean we've been talking a lot about this transition and the jump and see people think, okay, well burning my ships and all of that, that's all fine and good and not, yeah,

27:37 saying don't do that. If that's what gives you motivation. What I'm saying is, is if you're a great real estate agent, you're making $1 million a year, life is good. You're driving hot cars and you're unfulfilled and in your entire being you really want to be doing this. You can always go back and be a bad ass real estate agent. But I mentioned something yesterday that I want to bring to the forefront is your body has to be able to work with what your mind can think. You're, you're, you're, you have to physically be able to carry out what your mind can manifest. And there will be a point in time in your life where you can have big aspirations and you physically can't do it at some point in time. And that is where you start to spiral down the regret. And I should have in one sigh.

28:26 I believe that if you really truly have this thought that you need to be doing something different, impact, improve, whatever it may be, then you need to act on it. When you have the physical, the mental capability, maybe financial capability to do that and one thing can feel the other. The entire reason I can take a massive loss on that conference is because that real estate business fueled that loss because I didn't need to focus on getting scraping every dollar I could out of that so I could focus on one thing which is how do I bring consistent value, but if everything fails, I'll still be one of the top real estate agents in the city and I can go back to doing that. Now I'm everything won't fail because I'll take everything to zero before it fails, but God forbid something needs to happen.

29:13 We get some family emergency, I got to make some cash like you're still already good. You've proven that you're great at one thing already. You can always go back and do that. That's ever, there's no safety net. The safety net is your experience in one area. I bet you still have people reach out to you from time to time every day. Yes. Yes. So what would happen is something happens, God forbid somebody reaches out, you know what you say now? Yeah. I'd love to talk to you about that. Not Hey, I've got someone I can refer you to. No, it's, yeah, be over at three there it is. I want you to talk about your academy. I want people listening to be able to find you. Find Your Academy and when they do, what can they expect from it? Excellent. Well, I have an online academy.

29:56 If you just go to obsessed you can find information on all of that, but it's an online training academy that goes deep into referrals, duplicating your best clients, mastering objections, positioning, product, positioning yourself, dominating your market through retaining 97% of your listings if you're a real estate agent, all the way from how do we start and scale and grow ourselves in our businesses in a way that is going to allow us to be the player in our market instead of just being a player playing in our market where you are the professional that people will compare to instead of just being lumped against somebody different. And the biggest difference because there's a lot of training and coaching and whatnot out there, but the biggest thing that I found when I needed this in that space was how, like what are the concrete and actionable steps?

30:41 I don't want to tell you to, you know, find your why or oh, you just need to, you know, call more people and knock on doors and all of that. No. When you walk into a listing presentation, what is the anatomy, the actionable one, two, three, four, five things you do in order to make sure that you walk out with a guaranteed signature, 97% of the time. When I say that you need more referrals, how do you properly set expectations and drive consistent conversations to ensure that your best clients come back again and again and again? When I talk about mastering objections, why are you hearing the objections? Where are they coming from? What are, what's some mental framework around it? What's the anatomy of that environment? And then how do we speak? How do we react in a way that allows us to, without sounding like an asshole, move around the objection and into a close because we know that that closes the best thing for that client, that type of thing.

31:25 So the concrete and tangible steps to that is exactly what the online university offers. I love it. So what's next for you? What's what, what does the next year look like for you? What does the next five years look like for you? What's, what's going on with you? Oh Man will five years. Honestly, I've got big things on the calendars. But what would be the biggest thing on that calendar? Well, five years, by five years, if I can't get at least 12,000 people do a conference and I'm doing it wrong. Um, I, I mean repeat it again in five years, if I can't get at least 12,000 people to a conference, I'm doing it wrong. You heard it here first on the real advice podcast with Jonathan Hawkins. So we are going to keep him accountable to 12,000 within five years. 100% we're going to do that. So what does the next year look like?

32:07 So next year we've got a, of course obsessed con 2020 is the first thing on my mind cause we just got done with 2019 obsessed con obsessed conference 2020. That's right. So if you're listening to this, that'll be obsessed. we'll be releasing tickets for a presale in the fall of this year, 2019. Um, so that's a big one. But I'm also finding a lot of other ways that we can bring value through intimate experiences. So retreats, I've got some big partnerships on the calendar that I can't announce yet, but opportunities for you to get in an intimate environment with people with quality that were inaccessible to people that don't have those connections. So that type of information, those types of inspiring environments. Um, I'm doing a significant amount of speaking and one-to-one training and coaching and traveling, going to other businesses and what not. And so my biggest focus now is, okay, between now and the next 12 months from here, so summer of 20, 20, how do we bring such consistent and impactful value that our ability to bring different people and professionals to a higher level becomes a necessity for their business instead of just a, Oh, well this would be nice if you come in and give us a little hit of motivation or something like that.

33:15 I want to give a shout out to a woman by the name of Nani Bernal who asked me a phenomenal question. And she is just a phenomenal person who does a phenomenal podcast. So go listen to her as well. And the last question, and I'm going to end this with your last question, is dead or alive, three people that if you can meet with them over lunch today, who would it be?

33:43 That is a good question. Um, one of them I would have to say would be Fredrick Chopin because, um, my years earlier when I was younger as a concert pianist, Chopin was the first one that I actually connected with as somebody who lived in a masterful obsession just to get inside that mind, that would be very, very interesting. So that's the first one. Um, I'm inspired by people that do great things. So I think I haven't had a chance to meet him yet, but I would love spending time with Richard Branson.

34:15 He's somebody that distressed. He was on my top three as well. Yeah, he's on my top three. Funny how that works. Funny how that works. You know, my, one of my, my number one principle is commit first, figure it out later. And you're talking about somebody that's done so much, not just how we think alike and when you attract those types of friendships and do you do and not just him as an oh, you're great, but I want to know about the systems, what it takes to maintain that type of obsession, like the systems around that to make sure that he can play at his highest level. Um, who's number three? God, and I love asking this question on the spot because when you ask this question, are you prepare for this question? You start doing some Google searches. You start thinking who you, if you named three like, man, this, that tells me what you believe, that tells me what you're thinking. Like the third one is still alive. Uh, Les Brown and I haven't met les yet. We've had, we've had events that we kind of crossed paths and whatnot and I guess we shook hands and whatnot. But I mean like sit down with, because when I was transforming my life from a life living in, living in

35:22 default to a life and obsession and it started going down the path, as many of us do have personal development and continued growth and whatnot, he was one of the first speakers that I connected with that really resonated with me, that allowed me to challenge myself, changed my mindset. And so just by being at the start of that journey, always had this connection to lessen and his stories and what he speaks about. And so I would really love to spend some time with him and actually, um, you know, after this podcast I'm going to reach out to his team. I think I'm, I need to do that. So I'll call him first. Where can people find you? Where can they connect with you if they have questions, if they want to just chat it up. If they want information, where do they go? Absolutely. Well, I'm super active on social.

35:59 You can find all, we'll meet everywhere, but my handle is at Real Evan Stewart and stewardess with an eew. Uh, if you enjoy conversations like this, opportunities to challenge herself, impact and approve your own life. I do have a show, the obsessed podcast specifically for that purpose and obsessed If you want to get into an environment with high class people, train, make sure that you can gain that unfair advantage many people are searching for. That would be the best place to start. For anybody that's listening, this is the last 20 seconds that they're going to hear. They didn't hear anything previously. You have a piece of advice that you want to give to somebody about something. What would it be? Honestly commit first and figure it out later. That has been the number one thing that has allowed me to compress time and do so much before I'm 50 years old is if you're in fear, if you're worried about it, that's totally fine. Like I can be scared to death and still moving towards something, but you learn so much in the process. Like just figure it out in motion instead of thinking and preparing. Cause while you're thinking and preparing, there's somebody else that's maybe not quite as talented. That's moving, and then they're the ones that are actually going to get the recognition.